Saturday, December 25, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
- kissing hurts
- helping get on snow gear
- helping get off snow gear
- wiping toilet seats that get peed on
- making beds
- bathing kids
- sewing lessons with a very excited little girl
- laundry (hopefully all caught up by thursday)
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
I started writing this while in kingston last. I am coming back this week and needed to finish this.for everyone.
I want to hold onto the this time. My heart is so full that it is overflowing, and i want to catch all the overflow. And there is so much overflow!
I love the moments like rubbing a child's back until their breathing slows and deepens. Their little bodies succumbing to sleep. I love how soft their skin is and smooth their hair. If i could hold onto that moment forever….
It was hard to hold back the tears as i walked into that building. Seeing all the people i love and miss so much gathered together to celebrate the joining of souls. And what a party! Once the music started i had to wipe tears away! If nothing else had happened all day but the music my glass would have overflowed. But there was so much more! The smiles, the exchange, the dishes… so so much.
Sitting on the grass listening to live music. The breeze blowing the smell of beach to me. And not any beach, but that on Lake Ontario. The feel of a quilt made by my mom covering the bumpy grass. The fabric under my toes. Children running around, yelling to each other over the music that sings into my soul.
Hugging a dear friend and then getting to rub her scalp, where her hair once grew. Knowing how blessed i am to have her in my life. The joy and strength of her love and relationship with God is too much for my cup to hold on to. Thank you.
I need to hold onto these moments so that when i return to my real life i will not empty too quickly. I need to hold these in reserve, gerry cans full of these moments. Holding my heart up with love, instead of it dangling in my chest.
Thank you my dear sweet friends. For moments like these!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
And the LORD God said, "The man has now become like one of us,
knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take
also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."
Why would living forever be a problem? Well, because then He could never redeem us.
With us being mortal Jesus' blood can cover us, because we can die and be made new.
I am sure that this isnt new to anyone else. But I am still thinking on this, and would love to hear your thoughts.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
So, the conversation goes something like this, between the psychologist, his assistant and us:
Dr: so tell me about Jul as a baby.
Thomas: always moving, never still.
Dr: was he active in the womb?
Jordin: never stopped moving, was like a mauy thai kick boxer. But he was terrified of loud noises, even then.
Dr: and as a toddler?
Thomas and Jordin: still only when resting.
...the conversation goes on like this for about 5 or so minutes. The Dr then says; 'Usually we only do two test, Intellectual and Educational. The discrepency between them will tell if there is a learning disablilty, but we think,' keep in mind they havent spoken yet, ' that we will do the attention test.'
They look at each other and nod. Stating that it really seems clear that there is an attention problem here. Well... i took him yesterday for the attention test, and i arrived early back to pick him up. The assistant answered the door looking very weary. I think Jul broke her. :)
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
They are hard to come by up here. I have found that trying to break through barriers with people has been near impossible. Because i havent been here long, I havent found a niche in peoples lives. And most people around here have been here longer than 2 years, so they dont have any space for new people.
I am guarding my vulnerable heart.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
I really miss being close to certain friends. I love seeing their updates telling me what is going on in their lives. Little blips into what they are experiencing. But what has happened without Facebook, i have no idea what is happening. I miss them terribly.
Then the friends closer to me, making plans with them with Facebook has been fast, simple and it takes no time. I just send a note, wait for them to respond, and done! I have to do so much more in order to make plans; find their phone number, call them, wait for them to either answer or leave a message. then they have to call me back. The kids always seem to know when i am on the phone and make as much noise as possible.
And the diversion it makes helps me calm down in my frustration, it helps me procrastinate, and it is also a reward; 'i will clean the kitchen and have 15 mins of surfing friends status'.
But i have been terribly lonely. I wise person asked me if it was a good thing to give up if i was feeling so lonely. I would have to say yes! It has forced me to move my relationship with God deeper. And isnt that the whole point of lent? I have had something to bring to Him in a way that makes me crave Him to fill a void and makes me want to continue longer with Him.
I rediscovered my deep longing to be romanced by God. At least that is how i felt in the beginning. My prayers became less asking for help to feel less lonely, to much quieter. Less words. More heart. Now towards the end i really want to romance God.
If we are created in His image my desire to be loved deeply, and to be beloved has to be like His. I am created like Him. He too wants to be sought after, pursued and courted. This is not new to me. Just now it is so much deeper.
I have discovered that i have substitute my earthly friendships in place of God. Mainly because they are quick and easy. Some are deep and fulfilling. But none really fill the gap in my heart that God has. And even though i often avoid it, our relationship needs to be as cultivated as any other. I need to take time and pursue, intentionally, my Love and Saviour.
Dear Facebook friends, i will be returning soon!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
My sweet and wonderful children are with grand parents. My sister booked me this freaking awesome hotel, with a whirlpool tub for two. And i got to see Alice in Wonderland in Imax 3D last night.
I am so at peace right now.... and so at home in the city that even the traffic and noises are like lullabies to me.
Hmmm.... i wonder what they will be serving for breakfast.
Monday, March 1, 2010
It really is US, the adults, who can either inspire, or hinder our children. It is usually me that stops my children from doing something amazing. But, i know my children can do so much more. When i get out of the way.
:) the link is amazing.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
watch this. amazing
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
(note: Thomas looks much more handsome)
Monday, January 11, 2010
Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself; I mean,
be disturbed about your imperfections, and always have the courage to pick
yourself up after a fall. I'm very glad to hear that you make a fresh start
day. There is no better way of growing toward perfection in the
life than to always be starting over again and never thinking that
we have done
But most important, don't lose heart, be patient,
wait, do all you
can to develop a spirit of compassion. I have no
doubt that God is holding
you by the hand; if he allows you to stumble, it
is only to let you know that if
he were not holding your hand, you would
fall. This is how he gets you to
take tighter hold of His
Thank you Lord, for the time You gave us over Christmas. Help me not to squander even one second on emotions that arent becoming of you. And for me not to linger on regret when i am less than loving. Bring me closer to You and being like You this year.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
So, if you all remember, the first injury was Oakley. He fell and needed stitches (in the form of strips) on his eyelid. Then Thomas broke his toe. Then Clover broke her wrist. Thomas broke his other foot. The the catastrophic break of Jul's arm.
We had a good six months of no injuries, or ER visits. It was so nice. Then while in Kingston, Thomas took the kids skating on a lake. My mom and i joined them after they had started. I dont really remember going skating, or taking my skates off.... or going back to my moms house. But i do remember waking up on the ice (kinda) and i remember throwing up.
I was standing on the ice, doing.. i dont know what. Then i felt like my head had been split open by an ax. I fell while standing. Thomas took me to the Napanee Hospital. I got to have xrays. And then i got to be the butt of many jokes. My skull wasnt cracked, thankfully, but the Dr 'saw nothing'. Get it? Yeah.... it was cute the first few times.
So, i had a 'boxers concussion'. That means i bruised both the front and back of my brain. Not fun. But i survived.
While hooked up to the moniters, my heart rate jumped when Thomas touched me. It was really cool. So i told him to tell me something to see if it would race again. He said "I am ready to adopt again". My heart did nothing. I told him it was because i didnt believe him. But it is true. For those of you who are privy to all the details with our previous experience, we have called the CAS and are starting.
Happy New Year to you all! And please pray for our family as we try to grow.