Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Grace and Mercy... but not for you!!!

...if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. (NIV)



...if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face. (MESSAGE)



...whoever shows kindness to others should do it cheerfully. (GOOD NEWS)



Monday night, within a few hours of me getting home, we had our double running stroller stolen. It was locked to the porch and used almost daily. I've had things stolen before, and i shouldnt be surprised, given my location and all (we chose this house in this neighbourhood purposely). But i was still hurt and angry. We are fortunate enough to have family who can help us buy a new one.

We are from Kingston. We know it well. We know the "good" areas and the "bad". When we started looking for a house, we had this area in mind. After a very short search, and a shorter purchasing period (we moved in about 20 days after our first offer on this house) we knew that God had a plan for us here. Everything about the mortgage to the move had God's hand on it. We knew that God was moving here, and we wanted to be a part of it.

Skip three and a bit years ahead and our church does a plant right around the corner. Literally! God is moving here!

In the past few weeks and months Thomas and i have been getting more and more involved with our community. Thomas is helping with the "Prospector" (the Rustle news letter) and the small group there. I have been involved with LivingRoom (small group at NeXt). I often find that when i am on the right track that i get sideswiped. We have felt God inviting us to join Him in His work... and now the crisis of belief comes. Our double stroller was stolen, the lock cut and taken from our house. Why would this happen? Why would someone steal from a child, let alone children?

Many thoughts run through my head, bouncing from grace to judgement. Anger to mercy. I try to be loving in that i figure that if they need a stroller that badly that they steal from children, they need it more than I. Those verses at the top are all part of Romans 12:8 (different versions). I felt it quite amazing that we discussed that verse at Living Room (well done Lesley), just the night before. God often prepares me for things that are about to happen... i just dont always notice.



EDITED OCT. 22: I started writing this last week, I was really curious about what God was going to do. And then a lot happened this weekend. Saturday we enjoyed a birthday party for a sweet little girl. And I finally gave up on trying to meet my sisters boyfriend. (leaving it at when he feels he wants to meet me, they can make arrangements.) I was feeling really sad yesterday... and i went to Rustle to see La Tienda. I was not feeling like being there. Soon after i got home, there was a knock on my door, and a dear friend had bought me a necklace that i had looked at. And i cried again, for the umpteenth time that day.

Apparently it wasnt just for me to show grace... but for me to accept it too.

I am shown grace everyday. I hope I show it back.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I have been slowly learning to appreciate silence. Not the quiet house... i am still finding that unnerving. But the silence inside my head. Where i can hear what i need to be saying to God without constant interruption. Distractions.

I am finding it really hard to have Jul at school. But i am learning that we have it really good. Small school... small classes. Lots of teachers who dont pressure. Yet i still dont like it. Jul is so sweet and encouraging, and incredibly sensitive. On the other hand i, really like not having him at PEG. I never have to worry about it being Jul doing things that he shouldnt be doing. Its never him screaming or running around jumping on furniture, or play wrestling. It really isnt him that is "aggressive". Its all of them and i dont have to feel like its my child.

I know its not all about me. But sometimes i forget that.