Monday, October 9, 2006

Different Perspectives

Yesterday I went to my father’s cottage and the kids went swimming. Jul just for a minute, but Clover is such a water baby, that she stayed in for almost 20 minutes. I can’t get over how much she is like me! It was really nice to hang out with just my dad for 3 hours. It showed me why my mom, at one time, fell in love with him. It’s nice to see that. For so many years I never understood how or why they would have been together. But my mother is a kind, sweet person, who I suspect at the time, was very needy. And I can see my father being very devoted and attentive, especially to her young daughter. However, for so many years I have only seen their negatives, and could never picture them together. I don’t wish that God came into their lives then…I don’t think I could truly explain why. But I am glad that God did. And although my life wasn’t easy, and their faults were very difficult on me, I know that they love me very much. Even if they don’t even like each other. And I am grateful for God changing my life.

Thursday, October 5, 2006

"The Body of Christ"

This past week at church the body was the metaphor for what the Church is. What does that mean? Well… that’s a great question. What does it mean? Does it mean that we can’t survive without each part? I don’t know, ask any amputee. They do seem to survive, even if they require a prosthetic. Does it mean we all share in a part of something bigger? And if that is the case, how do we all work together? Or is it just something that we can all relate to as we all have bodies? It’s a pretty tangible explanation. (No pun intended.) If it is that we all have a part in the church, how do we coordinate with each other? And to whom do we go for assistance when parts aren’t working the way you would expect them?

So many people since Thomas left (and before he left) said to me that if I need help or anything at all to call them, and they will be there for me. I truly appreciate this from all who offer. I do need help. But I don’t know how anyone can help us or our situation. And I am not even sure what I need help with. I’m exhausted. Does that mean I need to sleep more? No, it means I am almost 8 months pregnant. Jul is having difficulties going to bed at night. How can anyone help me with that? I don’t know how to help him myself. I know he misses Daddy, but I can’t bring him home.

I keep wondering; if I had this or that would I feel overwhelmed with chores? Probably, no “appliance” or assistant is going to help the fact that I am tired and my kids won’t go to bed until I am almost ready to sleep myself. Everyone wants to help out… be the body of Christ for me. And I love them all for it. But I don’t know where to start. I find it easy to ask for things that are obvious. As I am sure most would. Where do I turn or what help do I ask for when my kids are crying and I need comforting too? And how do I keep comforting them on an issue that I have little comfort in myself?

If we, the church, are the body, and the knees are scraped, what do we do to bandage them? If the brain of the church stops coordinating things in the body, what kind of neurologist helps with it? How does a church stop the hurt of so many? And how do we assess the order of neediness?

Ok, so I need help. But I don’t know what to ask for.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006


Today I had an appointment with the midwives. My mom had offered to come and watch the kids for me. And i am so glad that i didn’t take her up on it!

There are student midwives learning right now in the community and there was a "lesson" happening as we were leaving. Anita was teaching Jane how to rupture a "membrane" (balloon) on a dumby that actually had a doll inside of it. Jul got right into the middle of it, and they not only let him, but encouraged him!! And after the balloon was popped he got to play with the hook, looking at what happened. If that wasn’t enough, Jul then asked to help birth the baby! Anita taught him how to help the baby out by holding the vagina and perineum and then how to gently lift the baby up as it exits. It was amazing to watch him in the mix of all these women-midwives and see his fascination.

And it is times like that that i am so excited about educating him at home!

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Time going on

Well, its been two weeks since Thomas left. And this time has been an easier transition than any other before. Although, we still dont have a full routine, we are finding out way much easier than any other time before. Ususally it takes 4 weeks to get to where we are right now. And we have been this functional for almost a week now. I hope that we are able to move even faster into a better routine. Maybe a cleaner one. But that still isnt my strong point.

Jul and i have decided that once a week we are going to go to a new restaurant and try something different. Today we had Biryani. Its chicken, basmati rice, coconut and some seasoning that makes it a nice golden yellow colour. It was so good, (and there are left overs) that we are having it again for supper! I cant wait to figure out something else next week! Maybe we should do research on what to eat (or what country) and then have even more fun trying something out that we know a little about.

Jade is coming over monday to help me sort things out a bit, trying to get things in order... Then i will go to her house and help her. I think it is easier to help someone else in their house, than to do your own. I never know where to start in my house, but i have no difficulties in someone elses house.