Friday, November 27, 2009


"Math has proven the existence of God, because it is absolute and without contradiction; the devil must exist as well, because we cannot

I believe in God. Not just any God. But the One True God. I see His hand in everything and everywhere. For me believing is as simple as primary school mathematics. Truly. As knowledge grows from first experiences, so does our skills. No longer are questions simplistic, as they blossom into mind blowing, earth shattering difficult equations that cause us to question if we really can solve the problems given to us.

Whole numbers are beautiful to me. I loved math while in school. Calculus, trigonometry, you name it and i loved it! It made sense to me. In the early grades math tests were fun. The answers were always in front of me. Whole math is simple. 1+1=2. The numbers are the same on both sides of the equal sign. 5+5=10 or 3+2+5, Pythagorean Theorem is the same thing, only you substitute numbers for 'unknowns' and, thus, it all equals out again. It beautiful and perfect.

Math is simple. If I have one cookie and then I am given another, i now have 2 cookies. It is constant, and beyond language barriers. One doesnt need to know how to read or write, but all know that 1+1=2. Maybe they cant write it out, but it is common knowledge. As simple as this is, it can, and does, get substantially more complicated. God is in the simple too. I can find Him in a painting and and in the beauty of a math problem. I cant paint, nor can i do Fournier math problem. But He is still in both these beautiful things. Just like a tree is simple, until you go deeper in how it works.

Thomas once told me about how in one of his math classes they had to prove some formula, only to find out that it was already proven. It was super hard with a calculator and florescent lighting, and it was proven in the 1700's, by some guy at a desk with an oil lamp. God does exist. I remember a time in my life where i needed to prove EVERYTHING. I needed to convince everyone that 1+1=2. It was the coolest thing ever. Tests were everywhere. I dont feel the same anymore. The concept of infinity is interesting... does it exist? What about zero? The ancient Greeks didnt believe in zero. I dont feel the need to prove it, I just accept the crazy formula.

one hand old

<=from this to
this => Birthday girl!

Five years ago i didnt even know her yet. But i knew she was coming. ok, i didnt even know if 'it' was a she! But the anticipation was too much.

2 years old

I didnt know what it would be like to have 2. I didnt know that my heart would grow to love so many more people than just her.

2 years old

3 years old

We never had a dedication service for her, everyone was already dedicated to her. Devoted to her, endlessly and hopelessly. Prayers of protections surrounded her from day one.

3 years old

How much she has grown! She knows more flowers than i do. Hates injustice, loves pink. Very sure of what she wants to do and what she does not want to do. She wants everything to be beautiful. And she makes it that way. Everything she touches.

(pictures she drew on the cottage walls and the shoes she decorated to be 'prettier')

4 years old

Today she is one whole hand old. She has blessed me in so many ways.

birthday party

simply gorgeous.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Happy Birthday!!

Dear Aphra

I am blessed to know you. You are a kind, wise and dear person. Thank you for caring about me. I hope today is wonderful! I am sorry that i cant be there to wish you a Happy Birthday in person, I would have baked you a cake, or at least brought you a cupcake.

Happy Birthday! May this year bring you a renewed and rested heart. May your nights be still and quiet and your days peaceful.

Love me.