Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.

I find it very disappointing that most churches that i have attended dont really recognize Ash Wednesday. They will take part in Shrove Tuesday (Pancake tuesday) and with it start abstaining from something the next day. But never in the 'Ash' part of the wednesday.

There is something about sitting, reverently, contemplating our finite time here. Reminding ourselves that 'from ashes we come, and to ash we shall return'. I love the feeling of ash on my forehead, keeping a constant reminder that i am vulnerable. Vulnerable to agony, love, joy, and deep sorrowful pain. And that is what i often need reminding of: that Jesus, His royal self, became vulnerable... to everything, to colds, weather, hurts, love and ultimately His death.

Why do we start lent with shrove tuesday? I know how the tradition started, but i dont know how or why THAT became the beginning of lent. What if we stopped doing Advent sundays? What if instead we had a big meal, and left it at that. Forgetting the journey, forgetting the substance of what God did? He became human, made out of ASH.

Walking around with ash on ones forehead forces vulnerability. People look at you twice, sometimes wondering if they didnt see something right. Some people ask about it. And others still recognize it, but arent willing to allow themselves to join in. And then there are the ones who you see who also have the mark, and each other becomes softened to each other, because of they see the connection that binds, especially once our bodies return to ash and our souls move on in eternity.

It is very interesting that people when praying about Jesus dying for us, dont linger on that thought. He did, indeed die. Although i cannot completely comprehend his sacrifice, i do understand His love for us. I would quickly, and without hesitation, die for my children. But that isnt just what He did. He died for those of us who never met Him in person, who choose to believe. He died to rescue His chosen people. But He also died to glorify His Father. I dont know that i would be so quick to die to honour my parents. Jesus died to make the plan that his Father had in place come to fruition. Jesus' choice of being the sacrificial lamb so that all who ask may have eternal life, is a sacrifice that shakes me to my core. He chose to become one of us, to become vulnerable. We didnt, we are His Fathers creation, fashioned out of ash and molded by His hands. And through accepting the death of God's one and only son, we are adopted. We, created out of ash, dirt, are now His children.

Yesterday was the day that reminds me of all this, from ashes placed on my forehead. A great way to start off lent with the right frame of mind, not a belly full of pancakes.

Our bodies will return to ash one day. But as Jesus rose again, so shall we! Glory to God in the highest!!!

"Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!" (Luke 19:38)


Monday, February 23, 2009

It's there

Ten years ago, this summer, Thomas and i left everything and moved to Vancouver to do a mission trip. While we were they gave us a book to read; "Dangerous Wonder". In the beginning the author talks about the most dangerous kinds of people: The Dream Killers. These people come in and tell us we can't follow our dreams, or tell us our dreams are impossible, or worse yet, that our dreams are wrong.

As a child one can imagine, with such detail and passion that it truly rivals reality. Unfortunately, as we get older (and more exposed to the 'real' world) somehow that stops. We encounter many people who tell us that our hopes and dreams are stupid or unrealistic and each of these 'truths' take away a little part of that imagination, that... desire to dream big.
My hope is that my kids will be less susceptible to these people, these Dream Killers. That they will be able to dismiss people who try to crush their dreams. I hope to raise children who will have strong convictions and will follow their dreams, where ever it takes them. I want them to be able to see things in a new light, in a way no one else does. I want them to love deeply, trust Christ fully, and not to be afraid to fall while trying to parachute off my couch with a pillowcase. I want them to not need the favor of people, but their hearts to strive towards pleasing God.

And most of all, i dont want to be their Dream Killer.

Monday, February 9, 2009


there are lots of things mulling over in my head... but for today, some humour. Or at least i found it funny.

Driving in the car yesterday Clover decides to play 'I Spy'.

Clover: I little spy... something that is yellow car!

Me: Ah, the yellow car?

Clover: Yeah! You win!!!
I spy little eye... something that is sign!

Me: Is it the sign?

Clover: You win again!!!

(my personal favourite:)

Clover: I little spy... something that is No Frills

(We look around, no grocery stores around...)

Me: Is it Tim Hortons?

Clover: Yes!

I love that this game is so gratifying!

Monday, February 2, 2009


The other week i was getting out of the bath and Oakley came in to the bathroom. He looked very confused...

Oakley: Mommy, where your penis go?!
Me: I dont have one, sweetie.
(i am getting a towel at this point)
Oakley: Oh, just bum.
(as he tries to lift the towel and rubs my bum)
Me: yes, something like that (swatting his hand away) go play.e

street kid

This morning Jul was angry at me and decided he was going to run away. Here is our conversation.

Me: What are you doing?
Jul: Packing. I'm leaving.
Me: Where are you going?
Jul: I'm going to live on the streets.
Me: Where are you going to sleep?
Jul: I will take some blankets.
Me: Where are you going to go to the bathroom?
Jul: I will go to a gas station.
Me: What will you do if you get cold?
Jul: I will take warm clothes.
Me: What if you get wet?
Jul: I will take a fan to dry me off.
Me: Where will you plug it in?
Jul: Not that kind of fan.
Me: What will you eat?
Jul: I'm going to take a record player and break dance for money.
Me: Where are you going to plug that in?
Jul: Fine, i wont take the record player. I will just break dance.
Me: What if no one pays you?
Jul: I will take my [wooden] sword and shield and make them give me money.
Me: What will you do when you go to jail for assault?
Jul: I will just show them the sword. [instead]
Me: What will you do when you go to jail for threatening?
Jul: Fine, i will tell them if they dont want to give me money, they dont have to.

Jul then changed his mind and decided that he was just going to the corner and would be back every night to sleep and eat.

Then we had to duel to see if he stayed. I had to get past his shield 3 times with my sword to make him stay. Then one hundred times. I won convincingly.