Thomas and i have been debating at more children. I am wanting more... while he is unsure. Yesterday i was talking with a friend who is having the same debate. And i guess it comes down to this:
I have been married for almost 10 years. And it has whizzed by. My oldest is 6 1/2. My youngest is 6 months. In 30 years from now, i dont see having only 3 children. I said this to Thomas this morning. His response was, do you see only 4. I, sheepishly, said no. I do see 5. But to be fair i dont see it by me having 2 more babies. I see one more baby and then an adopted child that is between Jul and Clover.
Also, in reality, these young child years dont last long. They seem long while you are in them... but my first baby isnt a baby any longer. And out of the years Thomas and i will have together, say if we both live to be 80, we will have been married for 61 years... and only 20-24 years of that will be rearing children. And of that, only 6-10 of that will be of babies.
How fast does 10 years go by? Like a blink. I dont want to be 80 thinking of the children i didnt have... I'm trying instead, of looking forward and imagining what my family will look like. I see joy from my many children... and bliss from my multitude of grandchildren. I also imagine that i will look back on this time saying that it went too fast. Because, what is 10 years out of 80 anyways? Just a whiz of memories.