Tuesday, February 6, 2007


I have recently agreed to getting a new tv. Thomas has been looking at larger tv's. How large? Between 42" and 50". When we got our last tv for christmas about 5 years ago, i think i just about had Thomas convienced that we didnt need a tv at all. Then his mother got us the one we have. I was shocked and slightly disappointed. I was prepared and excited about not having one. So how do i feel about a jump from this tv to one substantially bigger? Slightly embarrassed. I am scared about what people are going to think when they walk into my house and see a room full of a huge tv. I like the cabinet that we have because we can hide or mask our tv and it's usage. But now everyone will be able to see how often we use it.

Then i got thinking. We enjoy sitting around watching old movies that we have seen a million times... and enjoy playing games together on it... So i need to accept that watching tv is a part of who we are. And i dont want to feel ashamed about watching it because our society is so divided about it... on one side of the spectrum, there are those who feel that it is a drug and the people who watch it are addicts, and the other who believe it is a harmless form of entertainment. I dont fall between the two; but more i agree with both. It can be an addiction, where people unplug their brains and use electronic media to mask their pain, and ignore their world... and used with moderation, at appropriate times, a tv can be a source of harmless entertainment.

Two weeks ago I banned all electronic media for Jul, who, like his father, is a junkie. It made such a difference in his attitude and how he interacted with all of us. He even noticed the difference and we now almost never watch tv during the day and rarely any computer. He and Clover play wonderfully or read together, Jul is wanting to help with housework and now when i do put the tv on or allow him some short computer time, he appreciates it more and relaxes differently.

And i'm glad that we started this. Because today (being Tuesday) SUCKED!!! Every Monday night Jul spends with my father.. and today i realized that what he needs when he comes back is to just be calm, unplug and be shown love differently. After watching tv all morning, i gave Jul a cookie. He felt it was too small and was furious in a way that can only happen on tuesday. I told myself whenever he started freaking out today i would hug him and tell him how much i love him... and when he crumpled the cookie and threw it into the garbage my instinct and initial reaction was to send him to his bedroom to rest for a little while. But i stuck to my resolve and hugged him. Jul said while i was holding him that he felt stupid and like people were calling him "stupid-head". If i hadnt let him just sit and watch tv, and hadnt held him i would have validated those feelings of him being stupid. But instead, i was able to listen and calm his negative feelings.

So as self conscious as i am about having a huge tv, i can remind myself that it has an off switch and i will use it often.

Oh yeah... and my husband IS an electronics junkie.


Rachel said...

Hmm... I wonder where the "stupid" thing is coming from. I seem to be hearing it a lot lately. I've heard other kids at PEG saying it numerous times (not about a particular person, but about things) and then laughing a lot. Just last night Astrid got in big trouble for saying it about Muirgy. And today before lunch was ready, Jul was in a pretty grumpy mood (I suspect he may have been worried about you) and was calling EVERYTHING stupid. It seems to be the new word of the month. UGH!

jordin said...

Ah yes...

I will take responsiblity or this one... he heard it from my father, then on our "Mozart's Magic Journey" CD the little girl says stupid. We have talked that "stupid" is a word that can NEVER be said in regards to a person. And we try to subsitute it for other words... such as ridiculous or silly. Which i am sure you have heard Jul say A LOT.

"stupid has to do with someone's intellect, whereas silly or ridiculous has to do with someone's actions" is said often in response to what does stupid mean, or why cant i use it.

In saying that, i dont know if it really was Jul teaching other kids what it was... he hasnt taught them "shit"....yet.

Rachel said...

No, I doubt it was Jul teaching them. It seems to be something they've all just discovered recently. I don't know if you read Bonnie's blog post about how Ben accidentally introduced the word to their kids not too long ago (a funny story). I've heard both Astrid and Jul say it before, ages ago. It just seems to be the famous thing to say at the moment. All the kids seem to be caught up in it right now for some reason. Ah well, I'm sure it'll pass!