Things I miss and the things i cherish

I have SO missed being around my friends lately... I miss sitting and chatting with them, sharing thoughts ideas, joys and frustrations with them. I miss the quiet comfort of having them near me and real conversations that you can only have with girl friends. I enjoy the things they say, how they challenge and encourage me. Excitement is barely the word when it comes to getting together with them, either one on one or in a big group.

Yet, i'm not ready to give up my time with Thomas. I dont want to share my time with the other people that i love so much. This time we have together is so precious! And being able to do things as a family is fantastic! We have never had time like this before. And i am being so selfish with it. So my dear friends... but i am not ready to give this up yet! But soon i will be back.

Affirmation

So often as a housewife i feel so incredibly inadequate!! If Thomas is alone with the kids, i come home to an emmaculate house, a gourmet meal, and a craft from the kids. All of which i love, but i feel like we choose poorly with me staying at home and Thomas working.

However, we were having an ultrasound, and Thomas (who was resting) decided he would stay and rest instead of getting up and coming with Jul and I. I was gone no longer than an hour and walk through the door, to yet another perfect house, a smiling child and... WAIT! what is this?! "I am going to kill her!"

So, while i was gone for the ultrasound, Clover woke up, minutes after i left, had loose poops, taken off her diaper and smeared it all over anything she could touch in her bedroom. (bed, walls curtain, window...) She then came and woke up Thomas who put her in the bath tub to clean her, then went to the bedroom to clean up her mess. Only to complete that, and have to do the bathroom.

Clover pulled the plug, and sprayed shampoo and body wash all over the bathroom. So, now, neither her or the bathroom was clean. And Thomas had to do both, clean her and the bathroom... but instead of keeping her with him, he took her down stairs after he cleaned her and went back upstairs and cleaned the bathroom... then came downstairs to garbage everywhere!

To make things even better, as he came down, a friend of his showed up and got to walk through all the garbage with him.

I got told, that he is not cut out to be a homemaker. That what i do i so much harder than anything he can "handle".

It was nice to hear, but it made me laugh hystarically because he was the one who wanted the ultrasound in the first place!!!

Little Children

I wish more and more that i had the faith of Jul. I am trying to plant a seed in him, but it is him who teaches me about God daily! Over the past month i have been amazed by his faith and understanding of God's love. And his complete unashamed love he has for God.
A month ago at a YMCA day camp, he stood up and started singing. Not just any song, but "Jesus loves me". Completely unprompted. And while i was being told this, i was so proud of him... and yet so scared of what others would say. And then yesterday at the midwives, he started singing "Jesus loves the little children" for the midwife. I feel so convicted because i almost felt that he should choose a different song... but then i would be pulling him away from Jesus.

At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children."
Matthew 11:25

There are basic fundamentals that have been quashed from my faith. And one of them is that i dont have to hide my faith from anyone... if someone doesnt like me because of my faith, that isnt my fault. And it isnt about me, but about God. I cant handle that kind of rejection, but (unfortunately) God can. And does endure it daily from many people. I dont want to be one of them. I want to teach my children about God, i want to write His commands above the door, I want to bring up my children to God, so that they never leave Him.
I think it is two ways though... as i teach Jul (and Clover) about His Word, they teach me about His heart!

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 18:3

I am raising children to grow up and be men and women of God, and they are teaching me how to be a child of God.