Friday, November 2, 2007

Second Fiddle

I found out last week that my dad and step mom are going to get a divorce. I was shocked and disappointed when he told me. I would not have felt the same several years back. In fact, i would have been sad only for him.

They have been married for almost 20 years. I dont look forward to telling Jul. I wish i could understand it. My dad had us all over for supper on Friday so that i could tell him if there was anything in the house i wanted. As it turns out, everything that I wanted is going with my father (not Thomas, he gets something special too). I was worried that my dad would leave everything. The stuff i really want i cant ever get back, though. but how do i explain that what i want i cant have. I want my family not to be broken. I want him to have never married her if this is the end result. How do i explain to my dad that i want what was supposed to be mine. That i want him back the way he was before.

But something has changed. My dad's attitude was so different. He was hopeful and renewed. Thomas has only known my dad and his wife, but that is what he was always like. I think 18 years of trying to love someone so much has been hard. And now that his marriage might be over, he has new hope to live the way he has always wanted to. And i feel quite excited about this new future.

No comments: