I have been slowly learning to appreciate silence. Not the quiet house... i am still finding that unnerving. But the silence inside my head. Where i can hear what i need to be saying to God without constant interruption. Distractions.

I am finding it really hard to have Jul at school. But i am learning that we have it really good. Small school... small classes. Lots of teachers who dont pressure. Yet i still dont like it. Jul is so sweet and encouraging, and incredibly sensitive. On the other hand i, really like not having him at PEG. I never have to worry about it being Jul doing things that he shouldnt be doing. Its never him screaming or running around jumping on furniture, or play wrestling. It really isnt him that is "aggressive". Its all of them and i dont have to feel like its my child.

I know its not all about me. But sometimes i forget that.