calm/anxious
content/frustrated
secure/scared
overwhelmed/unimpressed

teetering precariously on the edge of contradicting emotions
swimming an endless ocean of experiences
obstructed by unseen handicaps
borders being drawn farther than imagined

ithirstformorethanthis

gaps

Week 3 of Thomas being gone is almost over. It seems to have gone relatively fast. There have been dentist appointments, pulled teeth, canned tomatoes, open houses, lowered prices, cleaning and more cleaning. This weekend as something special to it: Thomas has an extra day off. But that doesnt mean an extra day of rest. We have an open house this saturday, feast at church sunday, then maybe one at my dads, and another feast on monday.

We finally have permission to sell the house... but they arent going to pay for it. Which throws another wrench into the works...

I so wish i could be involved more, but as my time here has an unknown end, it seems impossible.

I am watching as God fills in the spaces that i have been in, whether with friends or at church or... whatever. And i wonder if He will do the same for me. When i get to my new place, will He have them all set up for me? Will new people fill in the big empty spaces where those here have been, at least a little? Or will it be like last night?

I'm not saying any of this in a pity tone, but in a very seriously curious way.