Sweet Love

On Thursday Thomas and I spent the day without children. It was wonderful! To spend time with my wonderful husband, doing very little. Listening to him talk about whatever comes to his mind. While there was silence I thought to myself that he must think that I have become awful dull. I didnt have much to say.

We came home in time to rush back out to take Jul to Kung Fu. But as we approached the door, there was a note from FedEx saying that they missed us and that they would try to redeliver the next day, or if i signed, they would leave the package for me. Having ordered some plants from a nursery, i didnt want to have them left outside, nor did i want to miss them! So, i ran out and picked up the little package. I opened the order form... not quite what i thought. So i came home, with it unopened.

Thomas suggested that I open it, because the seeds came in the mail. I wondered out loud what it could be. Thomas smiled and said, probably your birthday gift.

Inside the card was this:

I do not sing for a bird or a flower,
Nor for any other pleasure
But for my lady for whom I long,
For she is the fairest in the world.

My wonderful husband had ordered me a (Red) Ipod. And on the back he had inscribed:

"If music be the food of love, play on"

My husband makes my heart flutter, and makes me fall deeper in love with him each moment.

Pati

In February the kids and i coloured pictures and posted the words that love is, from 1 Corinthians. I thought for Valentines day it would be nice if we could remember what love looks like. We talked a lot about Who love is, and about a month ago i posted about lent. Since then i haven't posted the regular things because i cant get out of my head what i am learning about patient and passion.


First, let me say that i do not know Latin. And what i have learned is from limited research. But what i did find was so fascinating that i haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I discovered that in Latin the word passion means suffering. The root word is 'pati'. I found this very interesting to think of 'Passion Sunday' or 'The Passion of the Christ'. And even in our own language I say how I am passionate about my children, my husband, my love for G*d... and knitting... and baking... and gardening... and so forth.


The word root 'pati' has grown into other words in English. Patience is one of them.



"Love is long suffering..." 1 Corinthians 13:4(NKJV)



I found this particularly remarkable because i had never heard that version before! I am use to NIV and Message, and even The Good News Bible, but they all have something closer to patient, instead of suffering.


I often pray for patience, but not for G*d to give me the opportunities, but that i would just grow patience. But like many things, you don't just gain, you grow. You learn. And learning can be hard. Watching Jul learn how to read was very much like that. He suffered and struggled and fought against it. But once he saw that he could do little words, the bigger words came after. He is, by no means, passionate about it. However, he does do it. And when he is patient and not flustered he does very well.


But does it mean to be passionate about something that i must always show patience? Well... I knit sweet things together, and that does take time. I wait for G*d's rustle in my heart. And try desperately to be patient with my deeply loved children. And growing patience is hard and something i think feels a lot like suffering. And it causes suffering in those around us when we don't possess it.


So... when i say that i am passion about something, please know that i have grown in that area. And with patience, please keep me in your prayers that i grow stronger in this area.

I ran out of march.

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.

I find it very disappointing that most churches that i have attended dont really recognize Ash Wednesday. They will take part in Shrove Tuesday (Pancake tuesday) and with it start abstaining from something the next day. But never in the 'Ash' part of the wednesday.

There is something about sitting, reverently, contemplating our finite time here. Reminding ourselves that 'from ashes we come, and to ash we shall return'. I love the feeling of ash on my forehead, keeping a constant reminder that i am vulnerable. Vulnerable to agony, love, joy, and deep sorrowful pain. And that is what i often need reminding of: that Jesus, His royal self, became vulnerable... to everything, to colds, weather, hurts, love and ultimately His death.

Why do we start lent with shrove tuesday? I know how the tradition started, but i dont know how or why THAT became the beginning of lent. What if we stopped doing Advent sundays? What if instead we had a big meal, and left it at that. Forgetting the journey, forgetting the substance of what God did? He became human, made out of ASH.

Walking around with ash on ones forehead forces vulnerability. People look at you twice, sometimes wondering if they didnt see something right. Some people ask about it. And others still recognize it, but arent willing to allow themselves to join in. And then there are the ones who you see who also have the mark, and each other becomes softened to each other, because of they see the connection that binds, especially once our bodies return to ash and our souls move on in eternity.

It is very interesting that people when praying about Jesus dying for us, dont linger on that thought. He did, indeed die. Although i cannot completely comprehend his sacrifice, i do understand His love for us. I would quickly, and without hesitation, die for my children. But that isnt just what He did. He died for those of us who never met Him in person, who choose to believe. He died to rescue His chosen people. But He also died to glorify His Father. I dont know that i would be so quick to die to honour my parents. Jesus died to make the plan that his Father had in place come to fruition. Jesus' choice of being the sacrificial lamb so that all who ask may have eternal life, is a sacrifice that shakes me to my core. He chose to become one of us, to become vulnerable. We didnt, we are His Fathers creation, fashioned out of ash and molded by His hands. And through accepting the death of God's one and only son, we are adopted. We, created out of ash, dirt, are now His children.

Yesterday was the day that reminds me of all this, from ashes placed on my forehead. A great way to start off lent with the right frame of mind, not a belly full of pancakes.

Our bodies will return to ash one day. But as Jesus rose again, so shall we! Glory to God in the highest!!!

"Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!" (Luke 19:38)

)

It's there

Ten years ago, this summer, Thomas and i left everything and moved to Vancouver to do a mission trip. While we were they gave us a book to read; "Dangerous Wonder". In the beginning the author talks about the most dangerous kinds of people: The Dream Killers. These people come in and tell us we can't follow our dreams, or tell us our dreams are impossible, or worse yet, that our dreams are wrong.

As a child one can imagine, with such detail and passion that it truly rivals reality. Unfortunately, as we get older (and more exposed to the 'real' world) somehow that stops. We encounter many people who tell us that our hopes and dreams are stupid or unrealistic and each of these 'truths' take away a little part of that imagination, that... desire to dream big.

My hope is that my kids will be less susceptible to these people, these Dream Killers. That they will be able to dismiss people who try to crush their dreams. I hope to raise children who will have strong convictions and will follow their dreams, where ever it takes them. I want them to be able to see things in a new light, in a way no one else does. I want them to love deeply, trust Christ fully, and not to be afraid to fall while trying to parachute off my couch with a pillowcase. I want them to not need the favor of people, but their hearts to strive towards pleasing God.

And most of all, i dont want to be their Dream Killer.

later

there are lots of things mulling over in my head... but for today, some humour. Or at least i found it funny.

Driving in the car yesterday Clover decides to play 'I Spy'.

Clover: I little spy... something that is yellow car!

Me: Ah, the yellow car?

Clover: Yeah! You win!!!
I spy little eye... something that is sign!

Me: Is it the sign?

Clover: You win again!!!

(my personal favourite:)

Clover: I little spy... something that is No Frills

(We look around, no grocery stores around...)

Me: Is it Tim Hortons?

Clover: Yes!

I love that this game is so gratifying!

Anatomy

The other week i was getting out of the bath and Oakley came in to the bathroom. He looked very confused...

Oakley: Mommy, where your penis go?!
Me: I dont have one, sweetie.
(i am getting a towel at this point)
Oakley: Oh, just bum.
(as he tries to lift the towel and rubs my bum)
Me: yes, something like that (swatting his hand away) go play.e