My dear, sweet son;

Twelve years ago today we started this journey together.  It hasnt always gone as planned, from your life and death extraction, to you desperately not wanting braces.  In life you wont always get your way. But here are things that i pray for you.

My Precious Jul:  your heart is deeply compassionate and loving and i pray that you will not lose that along the years.  That your heart will keep you going in the direction God wants you to go.  You have such perseverance for the things you want to do, remember that hard work does pay off!!!  You have the ability to become anything and everything you want to be.

This past year you have matured in ways that excite me.  You recognized some things you wanted to change, and you did.  You took on responsibilities at church in a way that shows off your talents.  You love people, and people love you.  You have a deep heart and you are learning more and more what you can do.  Keep doing it.

My biggest hope for you is that your relationship with God grows more and more.  That you know His desire for you, and that you get in on His 'big secret'; that He is changing the world, and that you are invited to be apart of that and change it!  Through you He will do many great things.

You are becoming a man before my eyes!!!  Become one of integrity.  Become a man that others will look up to.  Love, peace, patience, kindness, gratefulness, kindness and self control.  Grow more into these.  You are developing them already in such a wonderful, beautiful way.  Dont be afraid to ask for help, we still want to help you.

I love you.  We love you.  Happy 12th birthday!!!

I sit here with an unexpected blessing on my lap sleeping and watch out the window.  Dragonflies swooping and chasing their food.  Smaller insects flitting about.  Trees rustling.  And i am brought to tears because of how close God feels in this beautiful moment.

"In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
And I was lost, oh yeah, oh yeah"

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; 
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. 
May he send you help from the sanctuary 
and grant you support from Zion. 
May he give you the desire of your heart 
and make all your plans succeed. 
May we shout for joy over your victory
and lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant all your requests.
Now this I know:
The Lord gives victory to his anointed. 
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
with the victorious power of his right hand. 
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, 
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. 
They are brought to their knees and fall, 
but we rise up and stand firm. 
Lord, give victory!
Answer us when we call!

(from Psalm 20)

I made chicken stock. The first container was knocked out of the fridge and spilled everywhere. I went to pull out one of the two that i had frozen. But i filled them too full and both bottles cracked.

Yarn Along

I have been working on little vests/undershirts for the new baby. So i thought i would share it with a Yarn Along.

The wool is LOVELY!!! It's a mix of alpaca and silk... I know it is a little much for a baby, but after coming out of the warmth of my body, being so close to the Creator, i think this might be lovely to be snuggled in.

I have enough for probably 4 of these... if i could find my lost ball.

Today i had the honour of being a helper in Clo's class. Her teacher asked everyone what their favourite gift they were ever given was. Clo was the first to put her hand up. Her response:

'My parents.'

This is a beautiful post about unconditional love.

But there have been many negative responses to the possibility of this boy being gay. For me, the thing that concerns me is: Why is a six year old watching Glee?!

In our home if you need a bed made you ask the (now) 5 year old. He can make a bed better than any recruit Thomas has seen. Yesterday Clover was trying her best to make her bed and getting increasingly frustrated. She asked Oakley to help her. Clover told him all the things she had done to make the bed, the way he had taught her. She kept complaining about how she couldnt do it. In response, Oakley held his had up to her and said: "Patience young Padawan."

I dont know why i do it to myself... but every time Thomas is away i stay up so late, even though i am completely exhausted! I try to go to bed at a reasonable time, but i fail. After a few days i get back into routine of going to bed and sleeping. But it takes so long!!!

I hate when he is gone.

CLR

My friend Isabelle reviewed So Good on her blog and is having a contest, check it out:

http://canadianladybugreviews.blogspot.com/2011/07/so-good-beverages.html

Well... in one month we move into the cottage. Wow... we need to make a list of everything we are going to need.

So far on the list i have:

1. Uno
2. clothes drying rack
3. wash board
4. swim suits
5. toaster oven
6. nature books
7. crayons
8. tea
9. little broom
10. sewing/serger machine... and fabric with patterns
11. yarn and needles
12. sand toys
13. ....

What else? help me!!!

'the days are long, but the years are short'

I am starting to feel scared about moving back to kingston. I am so longing to be there, but becoming so scared that I'm not really looking forward to it anymore. My time here has changed me. And my friends back home. Our families have all gotten older, they have changed.... are our kids going to get along anymore? Have we been forgotten there, like we have been here? how long will it take for us to adjust to being in kingston? It took us over a year of being here to adjust to missing our friends in kingston.

I'm concerned.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/05/14/education.gradeless/index.html?hpt=C1

Maybe the reason there is less of a discipline problem is because they are relating to the children in a better way, and the kids are no longer frustrated. The kids are directing their learning instead of being prepared for a 'standardized' test. Nothing is standard when it comes to kids!!! If kids were standard then we would never have problems with children EVER! There would be no need for said tests and everyone would be the same! However, the drop in the literacy on the standardize test may be due to the fact that they are actually LEARNING and interested instead of regurgitating what was taught.... thus, they may be reading in other schools, but without the love of the act of reading.

Jul is starting to love reading. If he were in school, being forced to read he would HATE it. But he would have to do it so he could pass some stupid test! These tests are, in my opinion, taking time away from learning, and wasting time comparing.

a friend's giveaway

Hey Friends

My friend Isabelle is hosting a giveaway for some really cool stuff. you can check it all out. I love the cookbook she is reviewing.

Take a look:

http://canadianladybugreviews.blogspot.com/2011/05/kitchen-garden-cookbook.html

Vulture Bees

At the homeschool conference i went to a session teaching how to reach reluctant writers. Her example was about Vulture Bees. Here is Jul's report:

Vulture Bees

Scientists discovered a different type of bee. This type of bee does not eat pollen like other bees. Instead it eat’s dead flesh from other forest animals. It’s spit has cool chemicals that changes the flesh in to mushy meat. It’s cool. Don’t die in the forest.

Everyday I wake up with the hope that today will be different. That today I will be the person I am trying to be. This person lives differently. Yet everyday I fall into the same old habits I am trying to break. But 'if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten'.

So the think that I want to change are easy enough to do, if I just take little steps. I find we watch too much TV, and I rely on it too often. I find that the TV and computer games cause us to be separated. Even if we are all in the same room we are focused on individual entertainment and personal comfort. The computer games are worse for that because only one person can be on it at a time. And generally the person on the computer wants to be left in peace, alone.

Each morning I think about what I can do different. Yet everyday I do the same thing as teh day before. I remind myself: Baby steps. My first step is to want to change, because that isn't the same thing as making change itself. Changing itself is very difficult to do. So I make suggestions. And my suggestions are met with complaints, whining and opposition. So, first I must not respond the same as I would. Patience. And a silent prayer. But, is a new habit formed by just not doing something? I think it may be more than that. Instead, maybe it is about little things. Little baby steps to the positive. Instead of saying to myself that I am not going to do something, why not things I can do. Just 3 thinks each day, everyday, for... well, as long as it takes for it to feel different. For me not to think about it anymore, for it to become a new habit.

What 3 thinks will I change? First, turn of the computers. My hope with this action is that connections will start again. I have started to see it happening. The kids are honestly playing together. And playing well! It will give us time to explore other interests and give me the opportunities to pass on my passions to my children. And time with God will no longer be avoidable. Second, I want to get outside more. Not just in our yard, or the park, but most days that is what it will be. But I mean OUT into nature. Going for hikes. Exploring what God created and discovering their names, and eventually their uses. Third, I have a blog. And i have so many things bouncing around in my head that I want to get out onto paper (and onto the computer once I have a finished product). So many wonderful opportunities will arise from changing these 3 things.

Everyday, just 3 things. Now everyday is a new, positive challenge. Not to not do things, but to accomplish and do something more. I want MORE for my life. Not to feel like I have failed again, but to feel I can. There is so much I am missing, but one day at a time.

rainbows

We have been trying different experiments lately. These were just two of them.

Jul is having difficulties with fractions and Rachel told me about what she did with her daughter.

We measured how much a whole bottle was, then

broke it down.

Lovely in the sun light!

We also found a recipe for making your own paints.

Although the colour looks nice and saturated, it is very much a water colour, and i didnt have enough to make it intense.

But dont they look so pretty!!!

Both rainbows are lined up on desks in front of windows. and it brings so much joy to my heart!

Sapping

We decided to tap 'Bruiser' this year. Seeing as he is a maple tree.

We were able to get something like 9 or 10L of sap, and possible more of it running this week.

Which is good... because it boils down....

A lot!