Oh, we're all over that!

In order to keep some kind of record for school i have been sitting down once a week and writing down what we have done during the week. I was thinking that last week we didnt do all that much, until i started writing it all down.


I find it really reassuring that we do so much, even when i dont see it! We went to a very large market, they had EVERYTHING you could imagine!!! And we only did about a quarter of it! And the library to do research for essays (Jul is doing his on spiders, Clover on giraffes). We planned, advertised and organized a lemonade stand. Lots of baking and lemon squeezing. And so much more.

This morning, we did our school work at the beach. It has been great.

I will leave you with a new Julism: its a bright as a pocket full of monkeys!

I have tried for years to grow flowers at my old house. I tried so many different things, and the only plants that would grow were the ones that were there already. I bet that will be the case here too. But thankfully, the previous owners and i have the same taste in plants. The only thing that worried me, was the colour.

Since the ground started to thaw, and the enormous amount of snow melt, things have been popping up everywhere! Unsure what is weed or not as things progressed, i did very little. But now i have a pink rose bush, iris (my favourite) in two different purples, and poppies. I was very concerned about the colour of the poppies. I am not a fan of the orange ones. I was hoping for blue, but knowing that was unlikely, either red or pink.

Here's what i got!

From this picture, and as it was opening, it was still hard to tell if it was going to be orange or pink:

Then it was obviously a pinkie salmon colour:

As the petals finally fell away, i noticed this... strange colouring at the centre:Then this!!! How cool is this!? The circles in the centre were hard to pick up on the camera but they are purple!
On another note, these are what i made for my secret sisters' birthday on Friday.... i am very pleased with them and am making more handkerchiefs. (even the neighbour boy, who's eleven, wanted some!)

....i am still around. I have been blogging, just not posting.

But what is on my mind this morning, and has been for a little while, is the growing idea that people should have many many children at whatever the cost. It breaks my heart to hear people say these things. Not because i dont agree with them. I fully support relying on God for the size of my family. But what if God doesnt give you children the old fashioned way? What if adoption isnt an option for your family, and there many reasons for this besides the common financial reason. Or... i hate to say it, but what if someone just isnt a good parents and shouldnt have more?

People find that they ought to be responsible with their time and their money, and many kids are just irresponsible. They take up time and money and, dammit, i need me time. Well, even one child is inconvenient. That one child means that your life is no longer your own. But we as followers of God will have hopefully learned that before, seeing as we dedicated our lives to Him. Our lives were never ours to begin with.

It isnt about me anymore! Its not about me when it comes to the children, and its not about me when it comes to God. I wish i could have more, but that isnt under my control. Nor is it under my control if my child eats or sleeps. The only thing under my control is my attitude towards everything that God (and my children) throw my way. I can choose to be angry when my children break things, or freak out and embarrass me, or at God not giving me children. Or I can accept that things like this are beyond my control and and my response is all that matters. I want my heart to be joyful. I want my heart to be a grateful one. And i am working on both of those with God's help, not just from Him, but the gifts he has given me.

Then there are those who expand their families through adoption. This has become a difficult one. It is very, very expensive. Fostering is heartbreaking. Children are being born into families with adults who shouldnt be parents. These people are now being given the opportunity to value the gifts given to them by God, because of financial assistance. I am not saying that everyone getting financial assistance is a bad parent. There are many bad parents who many a lot of money... but that goes to another point that Children Services are failing our most precious treasures.

God doesnt always bless us the way we would like. Children dont always behave they way we would like. And we are children of God, we dont behave the way God would want.

...this is not a clear representation of what i think, just pieces of broken thoughts.

shame

i am shamed. I am discussed with myself. I try to justify it, but it still sits bad.

I have been shopping at WalMart. I am so limited... and i cant justify spending a tonne of money on clothing. And considering i cant shop second hand well here, and the stores they have are expensive.

.....But, i have shopped at the evil place.

sorry.